Reminiscing

How can one person get so attached to a patch of concrete with mechanics, actors, and wood covered in paint? I'll tell you how: they were a part of magic there. I made magic. I helped make memories for who knows how many people! That is so amazing! I brought smiles to little girls and boys faces by telling them happy birthday or showing them the toy they wanted. I brought tears to one old man's eyes for giving him a button that said that he was an Honorary Citizen of Disneyland, because he'd created magic for some other guests. I was reminded of friends and family in the personality of others. I cried when I saw Mickey as I was walking in. I sobbed when I looked down Main Street USA to Sleeping Beauty's Castle one more time tonight, as A Christmas Fantasy Holiday Parade floated down the street. Disneyland became my home. My coworkers became my friends. Mickey and Minnie and Donald and Daisy and Goofy and Pluto and Belle and Ariel and Cinderella and Rapunzel and Peter Pan and every other character became my closest friends. And Abby and Eric and kids became my family. And my best friend that I went through all this with became more my sister, and carried me through all this (I wouldn't have made it without her). And my family (yes, Rae, you included in that) stayed my rock. Looking back on these most amazing, difficult, magical, beautiful, challenging, near impossible adventure, all I can do is cry. Tears of happiness that it's over, tears of sadness that I now must move on. Tears that I will no longer be going to the Happiest Place on Earth nearly every day. But soon, perhaps, I will be back here, making dreams come true--mine and others--and Letting the Memories Begin.

C

Christmas

So today is Christmas, and it doesn't feel a bit like it. But that's okay. My family was at Disneyland with me this week!!! :) It was amazing. And wet. Very wet. But we went on nearly everything!! And I took some good photos! Which I'm sure you already looked at! :) Sorry I haven't posted lately, I've been exhausted beyond belief! And honestly not very positive but I'll try to post more! :)

C

I wish...

I wish I was one of those people who would go out into their living room and tell their roommate (who only words that you don't say in front of children are appropriate for describing!) and tell her to SHUT UP ALREADY! She's been yacking at the top of her lungs for the last three hours. And I am about to ring her fat neck. Along with fake coughing and then glaring at me because, oh I'm sorry, thanks to HER I've been sick for 3 weeks! Sorry for the complaining, but it had to be said!

I wish also that 2:30 am was here so I'd be home on my way to dreamland. For that is when I should be arriving home from work.

I wish also that I didn't have to work 2:30 this morning.

I wish I was being positive right now.

So to tell you all about my new obsession! I love, love, LOVE lampposts! I actually doodled some during church last week! :) They used to be made so beautifully! Of course now, put a wood post in the ground and stick a metal post perpendicular to that one with a lightbulb in it and there's a lampost! Soon I'll have the energy to go take photos of them and post them on here. :) Love all of you!

C

My Daddy

Today I had a day off, and I've stayed home sick all day. And today is my Daddy's birthday. If I had money (as in any at all) I would've gone home to surprise him for his birthday! Sadly I can't do that, so I'll blog about him! So here's some beautiful memories of moments with my Daddy!

I remember once when I was pretty little my Daddy had taken me to my Grandma and Grandpa's Accounting business (I don't honestly remember why) and when we were leaving I dropped my dolly into the gutter that had TONS of water just running down. And as I started to cry my Daddy dashed after the dolly and saved her just before she went down the drain! So then of course I hugged him and my wet dolly.

I remember one night being so upset when we got back to our apartment that we lived in at the time because my daddy didn't come and open my door for me. I sat in the car sobbing for I'm really not sure how long, because he hadn't come. Finally he came to the car and let me out. And I think I was in trouble for throwing a fit...

I remember coming to Disneyland as a little one and loving it (of course) and I remember my Dad loving the train and being so proud of himself because we'd come when it wasn't busy. I loved Peter Pan's Flight because I got to ride it with my Daddy and he held my hand. He was so excited when we saw Belle, because he knew that I loved her and he was so excited for me.

I remember my Dad crying and taping my kindergarten graduation, talking my uncle into blowing an air horn at my high school graduation. I remember him crying at his own graduation.

I remember him crying when he dropped me off in this small apartment.

I love my Daddy. Admittedly I'm a Daddy's Girl. And I love it. We just think alike. He's so wonderful. I can't imagine a better Dad. I should listen to him more often, it seems he's always right. (And you thought you'd never hear me say that, didn't you Dad?!) Love you Daddy.

C

Oh Today

Oh today. It was one of those days after about three (or fourteen I seem to have lost count...) of those days. The bright spot though amidst all of the darkness is Rae. She came for Thanksgiving and seeing her the three times I got to truly helped me get through this week. Which is still not quite over. I work again tomorrow. Hopefully it won't be one of those days.

I'm just a little bit sick of the mindset of some people that those who work as a waitress, sales clerk, anything in the "service industry" aren't people and don't need respect. If you don't already please, please, PLEASE be kind to the poor people you come in contact with who work at restaurants, stores, anything like that. I guarantee you'll brighten their day, or at the very least make it more livable.

Anyway...Rae and Abby made me laugh, and really laugh. So hard I snorted. Many times. They gave me medicine when I was sick. Toilet Paper when I'd run out. Turkey, potatoes, and stuffing when I'd missed the best holiday of the entire year: Thanksgiving. And helped me forget all the rude people I'd come in contact with. And then their children surrounded me with the simple love that children possess and reminded me what it feels like to be adored and cherished. If only just because I'm "big" and am more than willing to pay attention to them. They cleared the clouds from my tired, tear-filled eyes and helped see again--if only for a little while--the sun shining on me. So thank you Abby and Rae, and Savvy and Esther and Jaxon and Becca and Reed and Heidi and Autumn and Phil and Eric too.

So with heavy eyelids and a tear-washed face and a heart hopeful that this midnight will break in a brilliant dawn with orange and pink clouds quickly chased away by the sun, I lay me down to sleep.

C

My Fantastic Best Friend

So I've got this best friend....I may have mentioned her already...but she's the best! She does everything for me. (Pretty much literally.) It was her brave and brilliant idea to come out here to beautiful California. I never would've taken this step without her and even though it's the hardest thing I think I've ever done, it's changing me for the better. And did I mention she's gorgeous? Because she really is. Completely gorgeous. She doesn't believe me, but she should.

She's willing to stand by me through everything. I'm a bit crazy and for some reason she still loves me!! It's amazing! I don't have words to describe how much I appreciate her.

Ever since 6th grade I've been waiting for someone to finally be there with me through anything and everything, someone who I can tell anything to, someone who understands what I'm trying to stay, someone who I can shop with (even if it is just groceries), someone who will hold me while I cry, and someone I can do all that for. And that's just who Kavyn is. I'm so glad I got her, she was more than worth the wait. I love her with all my heart. She's what keeps me going when I'm having my hardest days. She sits next to me while I write my blog and struggle for words and positive things even though she's exhausted. So, I guess that means it's bed time.

Long story short: I love Kavyn!

My Sister

So today I had a wonderful talk with my beautiful sister (That's her in the picture, if you didn't know. And once again, the amazing Rae took the photo.) . I look up to her so very much. She's gorgeous, she's brave, she's so strong, loving, uninhibited, and a bit crazy. She was brave and told the boy she likes that she likes him. I could never do that, I'd never be brave enough. (It doesn't help that the only boys I attract are complete creepers. No seriously.) I really wish I could be more like her. I mean really, I would never be brave enough to sit in an awesome chair, in the middle of the road! Haha! :) And she's growing her gorgeous hair out to donate it. I did that once, and never again will I. I just chopped off 3 inches of my hair and want to cry now because it's gone.

Now, I'm rambling. But tonight I'm focusing on her and our conversation and how much like her I wish I was. Oh the beauty that girl brings to my life :)

C

A Disney Day

So today I'm playing with fonts! :) Hooray! (I'm having WAY too much fun with this, just so you all know.) So today I had a be-a-u-tiful day with my bestest friend at Disneyland!! :) We got to tour the Dream Suite above Pirates of the Caribbean, and it was....I don't know...Perfect. It's my dearest dream to get to stay there and get proposed to inside. I can't even describe it's beauty.

Then we saw the Holiday Parade! The wicked stepsisters and stepmother from Cinderella are in it and they're awesome! There's also the Seven Dwarfs! I'm growing to love the lesser known characters, or the less popular, Snow White, Daisy, Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Bashful, Doc, Grumpy, Dopey, etc. And then there were the fireworks, complete with magic snow afterward. They were so beautiful and emotional. I cried, I won't lie. I kinda cried like a baby. I'm so sad I won't be home for Christmas this year. I won't get to go to that house in Hurricane and see the timed lights to the music. It'll be different, but still it will be Christmas, and that's what's important.

Now as I sit writing I'm trying to think positive. I'm feeling a bit small, and a bit overwhelmed. A bit braver though. :)

Good quote I just heard on the TV, "Don't retreat, reload."

Hello all! (It's kinda cool to have followers, I'm not gonna lie!)

So today was long! Good, but long. And spent mostly at that happy place I work at and then back home with that amazing best friend of mine. So tonight I'm writing by light of my Christmas Tree, to Josh Groban's Noel. That's right, I caught on to the Christmas spirit already. It's kinda hard not to when at that happy place every day, that is in full swing for the Holidays. So I posted some pictures of our beautiful tree, sadly I can't fully capture the sadness and beauty of our setting it up. Sadness because we won't be with our families this year for Christmas. Sadness has it's own strange beauty though I think, sometimes. Not crushing sadness that makes you think that tomorrow the sun will just choose not to rise for you, but the tender sadness of acute regret, nostalgia, and/or change.

When I was at Disneyland today though, it wasn't for working it was for fun. I tried my hardest to document the beautiful things I saw and had never bothered to notice before. I was going to sketch, but the mindset just couldn't catch me today, or rather, I couldn't catch it. And I used some brave words when talking with my marvelous mother. Details are fuzzy now though, my poor brain is tired, and I have class in the morning. I wonder who will be speaking...whoever it is, I'm sure it will be great. I think after this class I just have one or two more. That is a bit sad, but a bit happy too, that means it's a bit closer to going back to the arms of nearly all of those I love. How I'm going to fit everything I own back in my car, I have no idea.

Night all!

C

P.S. I find it kinda entertaining to think that everyone who read this had to turn their head sideways to see my photos. :)

Intro

Me, Kyle, Mom, Daddy, Emily

I am truly, madly, deeply in love with the castle, and the sun that shines on it.

Phill (Dad), holding Jaxon, Rachel (Mom), holding Savanna and Reed.

That's my BFFAE Kavyn and me, photo taken by the beautiful and talented Rae (rdlens.blogspot.com)

So I'm C! I'm usually pretty introverted and honestly, negative. And in an effort to improve myself I'm using this blog to focus on the positive and beautiful things around me and encourage myself to be brave. I'm not sure why I decided to put it in a blog, but I did, so now you can read it! I'm currently one of the college students in the Disney College Program, and I've enjoyed my time here, but I'm looking forward to going back home. I love the magic associated with Disney parks, and honestly it makes me cry pretty much every day. So I'm making the most of my time helping make magic. I miss my family and friends I left back home, and I'm not good at sharing every inch of space I'm entitled to with two other people. I miss my queen-size bed and my own closet and three whole dresser drawers to myself. Anyway, that's pessimistic and that's not what we're here for. I couldn't figure out how to make my cute background go all the way up, so if anyone can help me figure that one out I'd be super grateful!!

And for further introductions I shall post some pictures of myself and other beautiful people in my life! (They went to the top....oh well! I'll figure out the blogging thing eventually!