Beautifying My Little World

So, I've been taking moments from my days to make something in my life a little more beautiful. And currently I'm obsessed with modge podge. So in order to be able to put these on Pinterest and to show you how I'm beautifying my life here they are!

I did this one for my parents for their 25th anniversary because we really needed one instead of the cupboard.

Martinelli's bottle (from the anniversary celebrations) plus 2 coats of gold spray paint (left over from my brother's wedding open house), and 2 dried roses from the only bouquets I've ever gotten.

A mini Martinelli's bottle, with paper modge podged onto it. A little tricky, but worth it! Now I need more dried roses to put in it!

An old frame I had laying around and decided to modge podge. I need a picture to put in it now.

All the paper is from a book I found at the dollar store. It was just one that had the coolest feeling and looking paper, and it happened to be an autobiography about a biographer, so there were tons of letters in the book in different fonts, which ended up really cool. So on all of these I only spent $1.03 for the book. The modge podge was just left over from one of my mom's projects, I already had both frames, the bottles and the spray paint. Probably more to come as I continue to attempt to beautify my life...Okay me and modge podge obsession will definitely be coming up with more to cover, so expect some more!

"At Least..."

So you know those times when everything is looking very bleak and it's hard to find something that's beautiful? I find that I need something that is fairly stable, that at least I have that. My most common "At least" is "At least I have a cute butt." Because I do--whether or not that's conceited, I don't know. But it makes me feel better. That even if I am broke, have no job and can't find one, at least I do have one asset. Oh, you want a list of "At least"s? Okay....

At least:

I can write.

I can appreciate others' talents.

I have my family, and though the relationships may change they're always there.

I have pretty eyes.

I have Rae and her family too.

I have emotional outlets.

There's more, but it feels selfish to put them all here. I hope that helps you in trying to see the beauty in your own life. It helps me with mine. And heaven knows I need any help I can get.

At least I have a cute butt :)

Respite, Rae, and Rambling

I'm thoroughly enjoying Texas. Loving every minute of being so loved and needed by the DeVaults. Savvy needs the girly attention of flipping through magazines and playing dollies. Reed needs the attention logical answers and occasional pretending. Jaxon needs the giggling, tickling and general being silly. And I love it. I haven't been this needed in so long. And it is so refreshing. As my fingers click and clatter across the keys, Rae is singing quietly with each child as she puts them to bed, and admittedly I'm crying. I want so badly to be so loved and needed by my own children. I want so badly a man to love me as her Phill loves her. I want so badly to be more like Rachel. In so many ways. I wish I had more curves, like Rae's perfect shape. I wish I had more of her empathy and depth of emotion in general. I wish I had her energy, her creativity in and out of the home, her ability to make it work (even if "it" is a house that they don't quite fit in, or a scheduling inconvenience).
I don't want to leave. I want to stay sleeping on her couch, petting the kitties--Jude and Olive--, playing with kids, laughing with Phill and Rae, and helping with the endless laundry and dishes of a young family. I want to stay here, healing, until I am whole. I wish I could. And yet the real world calls. Bills, family, school are all screaming my name. I desperately just want to ignore them and stay, stay, stay. Maybe I can. I don't know. But for now I will savor the moments that seem so much like a fairy-tale or a movie. Moments that don't seem to belong in my life. Moments I love. Moments I need. Moments that will sustain me through the future, as the imagination of them sustained me through the past months.
The hardest times of my life have been this past year, and just when I think they're over, they're only beginning. And I've just tried. Tried to keep going, tried to make the best decisions, tried to go in the right direction, tried to keep seeing the good and the beautiful, tried to be brave. Tried. And that's all I could've done, all I can do. That's all any of us can do. Is just try. If that's what we are doing, we can't be ashamed of ourselves. Because we tried. And I have. And I'm okay with it...almost. I'll keep trying and trying and probably crying. Hopefully times will get better. Hopefully.