Assumptions

Okay, so this is another bit of a rant, but also a lesson rolled into it. So just call me Teach! Haha!

I'm SO sick of people making assumptions about other people. So sick of it. People look at me, a single, cute, somewhat floundering 20-year-old and assume, "Oh, she must be desperate, let's try and set her up." NO. No. No. no. no. no. NO! Sure, I wouldn't mind Prince Charming coming and sweeping me off my feet. But I honestly (yes I mean these next few words) would rather be single for the rest of my life single than hit on by another creeper. I've been hit on by SO many these past few weeks it is RIDICULOUS! ((Maybe I'll post some later just to give you all a giggle, really it is laughable.)) And I haven't been on a date with a decent guy since high school. And the last decent guy I had a date with isn't interested in girls anymore. Sorry...tangent....

Anyway... Assuming things about people is not right. After that tangent about creepers my arguments a little weak. But there are facts behind the creepiness of the creepers. People all have struggles and vices and triumphs and glories. And we all need to do a little less judging and assuming (even if we think it's a kind assumption). Because you just don't know what they're really going through. You don't know the thoughts they're hiding inside, the feelings they don't let show, the situations they don't talk about. You just don't know. We all need to do a little less talking and a little more listening....especially me.

Hard Times

I don't know about any of you, but I've been going through some hard times lately. My world turns on it's head every week. And I just can't keep up. It feels like I'm running on a treadmill and the faster I run the further backwards I go. Or I feel like I'm smacking my head against a brick wall, throwing all my weight against it, trying to get it to break. But it won't. And there appears to be no way around it and no way to get over it. These are the times I need to be brave. The times that I fail at most. The times that I let other people make my decisions and I just duck and cover till it's over. Not this time. This time I'm fighting. Crying when that stupid brick hall doesn't budge, or when I trip on the treadmill. But I'm keeping on going. I have my cry and peel myself off the pavement and try again. Or at least I try to try again. I somewhat apologize for this indulgent and not-so-great post. But I hope it helped someone.

They say that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

I don't think this will kill me. So it better make me stronger.

A Small Rant

So, in case you don't know me (which I doubt anyone reading this doesn't) I'm skinny. Like tiny skinny. I'm nearly 5'7'' and I only weigh approximately 105 pounds. So now in your head you're thinking What does SHE have to rant about, about that?!

Well here it is: I am this way naturally. I eat like a 14-year-old boy, I just can't keep weight on. But people look at me and assume that I deprive, torture, or maim myself to be the way I am. There's a woman who is most definitely not naturally thin (you can tell because she looks like a skeleton and barely ever gets anything to eat) and she has suggested on multiple occasions that I understand her need to not get as much. Dear lady, I'm not anorexic. Then there was a guy once who told me I stayed this thin by eating whatever I want and then throwing it up afterward. Dude, really?!

The world's obsession with weight and appearances swings both ways. We all know that obese or overweight people are openly mocked and the health dangers of being that way. But no one seems to mention that those of us that are thin are demeaned too.

Everyone's healthy weight and healthy place mentally within themselves comes at a different place, and we aren't to judge. Especially if we're strangers. People are SO much more than what they appear on the outside. Everyone has fears, everyone struggles, and everyone has their own triumphs too. We are all just humans, size 0 or size 16. And we were all made as individuals with something to contribute to the world.

Now, this isn't just a pointless rant about insults given me at work; the point related to the theme of my blog: EVERYONE struggles with how they feel about themselves in one way or another. No matter what size, shape, etc. And EVERYONE deserves courtesy and encouragement along their way in feeling better about themselves. EVERYONE is beautiful. EVERYONE is being as brave as they can be, marching on in their journey.

Speechless

My apologies readers, I've been so post-less lately. I've been speechless blog-wise lately. I've been going through some incredibly tough times recently, and I have struggled to think through anything beautiful enough to write about. I've just tried to be brave through the storm raging around me. You'd think that would provide ample inspiration for my should-be balanced blog between bravery and beauty, but it hasn't been. I've been so emotionally and mentally drained from every day life that hardly any thoughts have been left over for writing.

And this blog post is becoming awfully depressing, and I apologize for that as well. Hopefully some brilliance will occur to me and I will have blogs coming in a flurry from feverish fingers.

Until then,

C

Christmas

So today is Christmas, and it doesn't feel a bit like it. But that's okay. My family was at Disneyland with me this week!!! :) It was amazing. And wet. Very wet. But we went on nearly everything!! And I took some good photos! Which I'm sure you already looked at! :) Sorry I haven't posted lately, I've been exhausted beyond belief! And honestly not very positive but I'll try to post more! :)

C

I wish...

I wish I was one of those people who would go out into their living room and tell their roommate (who only words that you don't say in front of children are appropriate for describing!) and tell her to SHUT UP ALREADY! She's been yacking at the top of her lungs for the last three hours. And I am about to ring her fat neck. Along with fake coughing and then glaring at me because, oh I'm sorry, thanks to HER I've been sick for 3 weeks! Sorry for the complaining, but it had to be said!

I wish also that 2:30 am was here so I'd be home on my way to dreamland. For that is when I should be arriving home from work.

I wish also that I didn't have to work 2:30 this morning.

I wish I was being positive right now.

So to tell you all about my new obsession! I love, love, LOVE lampposts! I actually doodled some during church last week! :) They used to be made so beautifully! Of course now, put a wood post in the ground and stick a metal post perpendicular to that one with a lightbulb in it and there's a lampost! Soon I'll have the energy to go take photos of them and post them on here. :) Love all of you!

C