Health

So I've been working on my mental health this past year especially, recently including counseling (have I mentioned that? I never remember...). And in counseling have uncovered that I struggle with acute anxiety. Nothing I need to be medicated for or anything, I just always think of all the possible worst-case scenarios for the silliest things. So to help fight that and multiple other mental issues I'd rather not talk about on the internet especially my counselor has encouraged me to start working out. So I have. Kicking and screaming internally at it.

I have issues with working out. Mostly because last time I weighed myself I was a mere 108 lbs and I'm terrified of getting any thinner. I don't want to blow away in any breeze drifting by. Gusts knock me over as is. But I've started trying anyway. Yesterday I did some Wii (Just Dance 2, and Wii Fit...that counts right??) and today I jogged. Yes, me I jogged. Well...I sorta jogged. I jogged and walked, and jogged and walked and walked a little more. I am SO out of shape. It is absolutely ridiculous. But the goal is to get better. And secretly (Rae you will scream when you read this, so prepare your children) my goal is to do a Disney Half Marathon. Emphasis on HALF!! That's only 12 miles. I want to do a WaltDisney World Half Marathon. So then I'd get to go to WaltDisney World....Yup, that's most of the reason!

Well, I'll keep ya'll updated on my brave adventures of trying to work out. Well, now I'm off to get a HUGE bowl of Rocky Road because I need to keep my weight steady at least.

-Also, as a note Dreyers is the best Rocky Road. With Western Family as a close second. Western Family just has a TON of marshmallows. Really, it's half ice cream, half marshmallows. :)

Small Thoughts Before My Project

My "Becoming Strong" project is in the works I'm self-editing and re-wording and being busy with life at the moment, but that will come soon. I do have some small, hardly-composed thoughts that I would like to share though.

Recently Rae posted a call to arms (or legs, as it were) on her blog, and I have a bit of a response. Please read her words if you haven't already, they are beautiful and it would be a dishonor to her to attempt to summarize them in my own. Though Rae is awesome and has the physical capabilities to run a marathon, I do not. I would pass out. Literally. --I could've just convinced myself that that's true, but I'm pretty sure it is-- But for some of us the road of life is a marathon of trials and rough patches and road blocks and tumbleweeds and pot holes and deer jumping in front of us, and continuing on the road is a marathon of "I can do it"'s (after a triathlon of secret "I can't, I just can't anymore"'s) For those of us who feel that way, it's very important to give yourself a pat on the back (Yes, even if you're being watched by someone) for all your hard work and excellent driving past all those obstacles! Seriously, give yourself some credit for all of your hard work. Even if you're the only person giving you credit, you deserve it. Let yourself feel that "I've just done the impossible and I feel FANTASTIC!!" feeling. I know that sometimes dragging yourself out of bed takes Herculean effort, and you rarely get credit for that Greek-hero effort. Give yourself a treat, a smile, a pat on the back, a hug, an award!!! Find the people who you can tell your slip-ups to, but also your successes! I'm sorry to all of those who I tend to only tell my follies to. I promise I have successes!!! But mostly give yourself credit. It's so hard sometimes, but I promise it makes you feel better. It makes you feel stronger and braver and more beautiful and whole. If your day is an Ironman (triathlon of 2.4 miles of swimming, a marathon, and 112 miles of biking!!!!) give yourself some much-needed satisfaction that you are doing what you've set out to do! I'm here, ready with a hug, pat on the back, treat, or award if you need it from an outside source. Sometimes you do need someone else to tell you, what you're telling yourself daily. Feel free to call me, facebook me, text me, email me, comment here, anything but Morse Code because I don't understand Morse Code. I'll give you a pep talk! I like to think I'm kinda good at them. And I'm happy to be a Rescuer for anyone else who needs it.

On another note: I'm happy to announce I've decided to do something pretty darn brave and go to an audition for an opportunity at Disneyland Hong Kong! It would only be 6 months if I do make the cut, and if I don't that's totally fine with me, I'll just keep on going here, try again, go to school, I don't know, figure something out. I woke up this morning and saw the audition and knew I had to go. So here goes nothing!

The Rescuers

Okay, I haven't watched The Rescuers in a few years, but I was thinking about it today as I was playing through one of the songs in my amazing Disney song book.

What little orphan girl doesn't spend her days dreaming of the wonderful, warm, kind, beautiful people who will adopt her? And then poor little Penny (the little girl in The Rescuers, if you didn't remember) gets kidnapped by Medusa and Snoops! Instead of a brother and sister she has two crocodiles to watch after her. Instead of a Mom and Dad who love her, she has two slave masters who just want her to squeeze down that little hole to get the big diamond.

So then she dreams of being rescued. And she does something to help herself. She sends out little bottles with notes in them, in the hopes that someone will find them and then her. Not only that she prays. She prays and prays for help and for someone to save her.

Luckily, I've never been an orphan, and I've never been kidnapped and had crocodiles be my guard. But I've had people rescue me before and I'm sure I'll have people rescue me in the future. And hopefully I've rescued at least one other person. We all need help. And we all need to help ourselves. And we all need help from God. Hopefully he'll send us some angels--whether in the form of two mice and a dragonfly, or a friend, or parents, or a stranger--and they will rescue us. And just maybe Heavenly Father will let us be someone else's angel and have us rescue them from their demons.

The song that inspired this is Someone's Waiting For You. It touches a special place in my heart and never fails to make me cry. It helps me remember that someone's waiting for me. And hopefully someone tall, dark, and very handsome (rich wouldn't hurt either) is waiting for me. Maybe even just as impatiently as I'm waiting for him. Someday--hopefully soon!--the waiting will be over. :) For now, I'll just try to be a Rescuer. Doing whatever small amount I can do.

Prince Charmings

So after my post about Princesses and their Prince Charmings I was asked about what Prince Charming was doing before he met his princess. Now that's a great question to which I answered, "You are the princess!" meaning that the role of not just waiting and looking but discovering yourself and finding what you love. To the question asker the answer was not sufficient though. Which inspired this article. So Prince Charming didn't just run around looking for his Princess. He was busy too!

Ready for a super similar list of Prince Charming's and what they were doing before they found their Princesses?! Good!

Aladdin didn't just sit around trying to find Jasmine. He tried to provide for himself and Abu the best he could. He was helping others (the orphan children) and trying to improve his situation. By being so giving and helpful he found and wooed Jasmine!

Prince Eric wasn't swimming to try and find a mermaid, he was learning to sail and rule his kingdom. Then disaster struck and he was saved by Ariel. He was tricked along the way by Ursula, but he figured it out and got the Happily Ever After he was looking for.

Phillip wasn't riding his horse through the forest just to find Aurora, he was getting away from life, relaxing and working out. And then he stumbled across her. When he was captured by Maleficent all hope seemed lost, but he saved his girl and spent the rest of their days together!

John Smith didn't go to America to find a Native American and nearly die for loving her. He went to have an adventure, to discover new things, and he ended up finding his true love.

Hercules didn't find Philoctetes to save Meg from the water guardian and fall in love with her. He found Philoctetes and worked really hard to please his family and be with those who loved him and find his place in the world. Falling for Meg was just a perk.

Flynn Ryder didn't convince Rapunzel to come with him to end up marrying her and become a Prince. He convinced her to come with him because she knew too much and he needed that crown back! It just ended up that they fell in love and saved each other in the end.

Prince Naveen didn't go to New Orleans to be turned into a frog and turn Tiana into a frog and thereby fall in love with her. He went to New Orleans to find a rich man's daughter and woo her into marrying him and thereby support himself with her funds, regardless of love. And then he found Tiana, learned the power of work and made his own fortune and happiness with her.

"I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream." (Not as perfect as the other lyric, but Prince Phillip sings it)

"Honey, I Shrunk the Audience Syndrome"

When I was a small girl my wonderful parents took us to Disneyland (you saw that coming didn't you?) and I vividly remember seeing the "Honey, I Shrunk the Audience" 3-D movie. Through the whole thing I was miserable! Everything made me jump and squeal and I was just NOT happy with it. At one point a snake popped out at me and I just couldn't take it anymore. I just couldn't. I took off the glasses and started crying, sobbing, wailing. My sweet mother stopped watching to comfort me and asked what was wrong. I sobbed, "It's picking on me! It only jumps out at me! It keeps being rude to me!" (Or something similar to that...) And my mother explained to me that the screen does that to everyone and pointed to everyone in the audience jumping at the same time. So I put my glasses back on and watched, not as unhappily as before.

I think that sometimes in life we get what I now call "Honey, I Shrunk the Audience Syndrome". We think that life or God is picking on us, only giving us trials and challenges. When really everyone is having trials and challenges. We are all having a tough time, or we just went through one, or we're about to go through one. The trick is to remember that you aren't alone. Sometimes you have to take off those hideous 3-D glasses and look around you at everyone else in your life. Maybe the snake is jumping out at them at that moment and they need you to comfort them and listen and offer advice if they want it. And focusing on all the things that are going wrong will keep you from laughing at the funny show life is putting on for you, along with the tender moments, the blissful moments, the peaceful moments.

Thank you to all the beautiful people in my life who've taken off their glasses for me when I'm crying even over something as stupid as a fake snake popping out of a 3-D screen to comfort me and give me advice.

Princesses and Their Prince Charmings

So, I've been thinking quite a bit lately about Prince Charming and when he'll find me and what it will be like and what a cute fairy tale it will make. And I noticed a common thread between all the classic princess stories: they weren't just looking for him, they were living their own lives. Sure, they wanted Prince Charming to save them from wicked stepmothers and endless chores and boring long days, but it wasn't their whole life.

Belle had reading and housework and her father keeping her busy while she waited and watched for her Prince in disguise. Also, Belle didn't take her father's place in the tower to make the Beast fall in love with her and become a princess. She did so to save her father from certain death, selflessly and lovingly.

Ariel didn't become a human to find and woo a human prince, she did it to try something new!

Snow White wasn't singing while she worked to have her voice win over her prince. She did it to make her work more bearable.

Sleeping Beauty didn't dream so that Phillip would one day appear in reality. She dreamt to feed her active imagination and hopes.

Jasmine didn't go out in the marketplace to find Aladdin and make him a prince. She went into the marketplace to escape her life that she'd grown unhappy with and find her own place in the world.

Tianna didn't kiss Naveen to go on a grand adventure and become a princess. She kissed him to help him out. She also worked hard to get what she wanted in the end.

Rapunzel didn't leave her tower to fall for Flynn (or Eugene, whichever you prefer to call him). She left the tower to have an adventure and to discover what the lights were, not to mention to spite her "mother".

What I'm trying to say is: don't just sit there and wait for Prince Charming. Do something: read, paint, try something new, escape, dream, sing, help, whatever it is that helps you be you. In time someone will come along and sweep you off your feet and carry you off to your dreams. And if you've already been swept off your feet, count yourself lucky.

"Some day my prince will come, some day I'll find the one. Though he's far away I'll find my love someday, someday when my dreams come true!"