Encouraged

So this weekend Emily and I went to my favorite place on earth (you do know what's coming don't you?!) DISNEYLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was SO fantastic! Not nearly as busy as everyone seems to think it was. We hit our favorites and that's all. We did only what we wanted. First up Emily got herself a bracelet that reads guatEMala, because at one point she was in Guatemala, and it was a huge part of her life, which it is her choice to share that experience, not mine. Second was the Teacups, Emily's favorite. Then to Dumbo, a family favorite. Of course, we did what we do best and ate. At the ever-delicious Golden Horseshoe. Oh, I love the Golden Horseshoe. Not on the menu are their mozzarella sticks and they are FANTASTIC! If you're ever in Disneyland, eat them. They take about 15 minutes for them to make, but it is well-worth the wait. Also, the fishsticks are finger-licking good. Don't even get me started on their fries. I'll spare you that happy-rant. We sat with a sweet, sweet lady who had the only 2 spare chairs in the place. The reason for that being Billy Hill and the Hillbillies. Yes, I just said that. Yes, we watched it. Yes, we enjoyed it. Emily laughed so hard I thought she was going to throw up that fantastic food. Then we shopped. Oh did we shop. I love shopping at Disneyland. So much. It was great. :) After corn dogs and spying (and crying) on the parade it was time for what we went there for: A Princess and Character Look-Alike Audition for Disneyland Hong Kong.

We were taught some choreography from the Christmas parade, and did our best. Sadly, it was not good enough and we were cut after that. (The first cut.) We picked ourselves--and our shopping bags--up and headed to Cheesecake Factory for treats before going back for the fireworks! During which we cried our eyes out!!! It was just so beautiful, and I could feel Hook's crocodile behind me, tick, tick, ticking away, attempting to drag me away from happiness and magic. Then we cried our eyes out over Fantasmic. And screamed over an awesome Cast Member who scared the tears out of Emily ensuing laughter from me that was so deep and hard and hearty that I snorted 7 times in. A. Row. For our last hurrah we rode the Matterhorn, my favorite. Then we visited the gorgeous and amazing Aly who I used to work with. And then oh-so reluctantly we stared at Sleeping Beauty's Castle down Main Street USA and walked away with heavy hearts, bags, and feet.

Despite not doing so well in the audition I am greatly encouraged by it. I can try again, and I will try again. And I will do better. I will work on my dancing and ability to learn choreography. I will practice being princess-y. I feel so hopeful and happy about what's to come. I will do this, I will reach this dream. I will succeed.

And I will go back to Disneyland soon, with my best friend again, with my family again, with anyone who will go with me again.

I feel recharged for every day life until then. My strength has been renewed and I can keep going, hopeful, positive, beautiful and brave.

Light

Light is something we see every day. Something we need to be able to see at all. But how much do we really think about light? I didn't hardly at all until I went to Anaheim. There I fell in love with light. I fell in love with the way sunrise came slowly, softly, showing everything in delicate pastels, and gradually allowing colors to come to their full potential. I fell in love with the daytime light, with the way everything was shown by the hazy sun subtly, gently, not brashly or harshly, just simply. And mostly, I fell in love with sunset. Sunsets there are pure magic. There's always a few clouds that turn the brightest pinks and oranges and then the softest most gorgeous dusty rose color just as the sun sinks. And the sunsets make everything glow. Especially the castle though. The castle catches all the light it's given and reflects it so perfectly. It's hard to even describe, so luckily I captured it one day with my camera.

Isn't it just perfect? The way the light softens and bounces of the castle?

It's like the soft perfect ending of a fairy tale.

Somehow Disney has paid off the sun to make their park look perfect constantly. But especially at sunset I think so then you remember the perfection and glow of happiness you saw during the day. Just look how beautiful the Matterhorn and Tea Cups look! This day was gorgeous and simply breathtaking. They are bittersweet to look at and just make me want to go back so bad I can barely stand staying home one more second.

That may be my favorite picture I took at Disneyland.

Except for the lady's head in the corner.... :/

I was driving home a week or two ago and the light was just like the glowing perfect Anaheim sunsets. It was brilliant and beautiful and I cried I was so moved. (I cry easy if you never noticed.) It made me want to run, fly, skip, drive, ride, anything to get back to Disneyland as quickly as possible to see the beauty again in the place that in belongs in my memory.

I hope the light inside me and the light of my life is much like the light of Anaheim. Soft, glowing, forgiving of faults, yet illuminating of truth, and ending in brilliant beauty and perfect peace.

"Honey, I Shrunk the Audience Syndrome"

When I was a small girl my wonderful parents took us to Disneyland (you saw that coming didn't you?) and I vividly remember seeing the "Honey, I Shrunk the Audience" 3-D movie. Through the whole thing I was miserable! Everything made me jump and squeal and I was just NOT happy with it. At one point a snake popped out at me and I just couldn't take it anymore. I just couldn't. I took off the glasses and started crying, sobbing, wailing. My sweet mother stopped watching to comfort me and asked what was wrong. I sobbed, "It's picking on me! It only jumps out at me! It keeps being rude to me!" (Or something similar to that...) And my mother explained to me that the screen does that to everyone and pointed to everyone in the audience jumping at the same time. So I put my glasses back on and watched, not as unhappily as before.

I think that sometimes in life we get what I now call "Honey, I Shrunk the Audience Syndrome". We think that life or God is picking on us, only giving us trials and challenges. When really everyone is having trials and challenges. We are all having a tough time, or we just went through one, or we're about to go through one. The trick is to remember that you aren't alone. Sometimes you have to take off those hideous 3-D glasses and look around you at everyone else in your life. Maybe the snake is jumping out at them at that moment and they need you to comfort them and listen and offer advice if they want it. And focusing on all the things that are going wrong will keep you from laughing at the funny show life is putting on for you, along with the tender moments, the blissful moments, the peaceful moments.

Thank you to all the beautiful people in my life who've taken off their glasses for me when I'm crying even over something as stupid as a fake snake popping out of a 3-D screen to comfort me and give me advice.

Adventure

Well, my brother and sister are probably boarding their plane right now to go to Guatemala. They're doing service their with a dental group (I'm hoping my mom comments and puts the name of the group on here, because I always spell it wrong!). I hope they have a great adventure but, like every Disney movie, get home safely.

Speaking of Disney, I really miss Disneyland. I keep dreaming about it. And all this missing the Happiest Place on Earth (which I still think of as home), is not helped by the return of Dole Pineapple Whips to Krave--for those of you who don't know those are sold at the entrance to Adventureland. It's like my own taste of Adventureland. But with no Bazaar to go look into, or journey through Tarzan's Treehouse, no Indiana Jones to ride on, or Jungle Cruise to go through laughing too hard at the half-baked jokes, no Bengal Barbecue to walk past and tell my best friend (who is always there with me in my dreams, like she was those beautiful 6 months) "That's the Jonas Brothers favorite place to eat in Disneyland!" and no reply from her--laughing of course! "You've told me a thousand times! And I'm the one who told you that!". I miss working with everyone there at the Emporium, I miss class on Wednesdays sitting next to Micayla, I just miss that life I had. Though it was the hardest thing I've ever done in my whole life, that 6 months was the most beautiful and wonderful, happy time in my life. And I miss it terribly. Anyone have a time machine they can give me to go revisit that? :) No, it is a beautiful memory and shall stay golden and glowing with fairy dust as it does. And as is the new theme for Disney Parks "Let the Memories Begin."

I'm on my own Adventure currently. An Adventure to use Brave Words to set the truth straight and still see the Beauty in others. An Adventure to set the truth free and to make things right. And let me tell you, it's an Adventure. I've felt my balloons be popped halfway to Paradise Falls, and felt my jeep break down in the middle of my journey. But also, there have been good things come from this Adventure as Indy or Mr. Fredrickson and Carl or any other adventurer would experience too. Though relationships have been tested, already they've become stronger. Though I thought I would fall apart, already I have become stronger and--surprisingly--braver. There's still more to come though, the worst isn't over, but the best is yet to come.

Just remember, "Adventure is out there!"

Reminiscing

How can one person get so attached to a patch of concrete with mechanics, actors, and wood covered in paint? I'll tell you how: they were a part of magic there. I made magic. I helped make memories for who knows how many people! That is so amazing! I brought smiles to little girls and boys faces by telling them happy birthday or showing them the toy they wanted. I brought tears to one old man's eyes for giving him a button that said that he was an Honorary Citizen of Disneyland, because he'd created magic for some other guests. I was reminded of friends and family in the personality of others. I cried when I saw Mickey as I was walking in. I sobbed when I looked down Main Street USA to Sleeping Beauty's Castle one more time tonight, as A Christmas Fantasy Holiday Parade floated down the street. Disneyland became my home. My coworkers became my friends. Mickey and Minnie and Donald and Daisy and Goofy and Pluto and Belle and Ariel and Cinderella and Rapunzel and Peter Pan and every other character became my closest friends. And Abby and Eric and kids became my family. And my best friend that I went through all this with became more my sister, and carried me through all this (I wouldn't have made it without her). And my family (yes, Rae, you included in that) stayed my rock. Looking back on these most amazing, difficult, magical, beautiful, challenging, near impossible adventure, all I can do is cry. Tears of happiness that it's over, tears of sadness that I now must move on. Tears that I will no longer be going to the Happiest Place on Earth nearly every day. But soon, perhaps, I will be back here, making dreams come true--mine and others--and Letting the Memories Begin.

C

Christmas

So today is Christmas, and it doesn't feel a bit like it. But that's okay. My family was at Disneyland with me this week!!! :) It was amazing. And wet. Very wet. But we went on nearly everything!! And I took some good photos! Which I'm sure you already looked at! :) Sorry I haven't posted lately, I've been exhausted beyond belief! And honestly not very positive but I'll try to post more! :)

C

A Disney Day

So today I'm playing with fonts! :) Hooray! (I'm having WAY too much fun with this, just so you all know.) So today I had a be-a-u-tiful day with my bestest friend at Disneyland!! :) We got to tour the Dream Suite above Pirates of the Caribbean, and it was....I don't know...Perfect. It's my dearest dream to get to stay there and get proposed to inside. I can't even describe it's beauty.

Then we saw the Holiday Parade! The wicked stepsisters and stepmother from Cinderella are in it and they're awesome! There's also the Seven Dwarfs! I'm growing to love the lesser known characters, or the less popular, Snow White, Daisy, Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Bashful, Doc, Grumpy, Dopey, etc. And then there were the fireworks, complete with magic snow afterward. They were so beautiful and emotional. I cried, I won't lie. I kinda cried like a baby. I'm so sad I won't be home for Christmas this year. I won't get to go to that house in Hurricane and see the timed lights to the music. It'll be different, but still it will be Christmas, and that's what's important.

Now as I sit writing I'm trying to think positive. I'm feeling a bit small, and a bit overwhelmed. A bit braver though. :)

Good quote I just heard on the TV, "Don't retreat, reload."