New Year

Here we are on the brink of 2012 and I hardly know how it got here. This is the time of year that we all look back and see our progress and look to the future and set new goals.

I've been looking back at the year in awe. In awe of the change in myself. I've become so much closer to the person I ultimately hope to become and I am very proud of myself. I still have a long way to go, but I've made leaps and bounds. As I'm sure you'll all figured out this year has been excruciating. I went through so much that I didn't see coming, and never wanted to see. They say that you don't know what you've got until it's gone, but I'm very much not that way. I know exactly what I have and live in fear of losing it. And I lost so much this year. But I've gained myself. I gained a knowledge of myself, my limits, my strengths, my challenges, my needs, my wants. I didn't really want to admit this online, as I live in fear of the repercussions of online postings, but I feel I should. I found out through counseling that lasted about 6 months that I have ADHD, abandonment issues, and developed acute social anxiety, among other challenges we all struggle with. But I'm making it through. Through the challenges every day poses. And I'm looking forward to a new year that, with any luck, holds fewer challenges than this past year and holds hope, growth and joy.

I hope your new year holds the same and I hope that you can look nostalgically on this past year, even if it was as difficult (or more difficult) as mine.

Happy New Years!!